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Why This Isn’t an ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Review: Spoiling Things Sucks

KINDER SURPRISE! NO SPOILERS!

Every m-f-ing major media website has posted more stories about “Avengers: Endgame” by now than it has any right to, but I’m not upset about that. What I am upset about is that I haven’t had the opportunity to see Endgame yet and with every frickin’ new headline, its photo and its accompanying article summary, I come closer to having the movie spoiled for me. I don’t want headlines about certain characters and accompanying questions. And I would repeat them here, except then I would be doing the same thing to you that Yahoo!, Entertainment Weekly, and others have already done to me.

Why do they do it? Money. In a couple of weeks, no one is going to care about Avengers: Endgame. They’re going to be on to something else: Godzilla, maybe, or Pokémon, or John Wick… Whatever it is, the general public isn’t going to want to click on Avengers: Endgame stories anymore. Even if it does, those stories are worth a lot more because they are already on the web, so people who are late to the game will still be able to click and find them.

In journalism and the Internet, it’s all about speed. Get it out first and fast. You can correct errors later and, in the case of a movie article, people who don’t want spoilers shouldn’t click on the link and F them anyway. I have unfollowed spoiler accounts including the New York and LA times and Yahoo! Entertainment. I will continue to do so. I might follow them back later on, because print media like the New York Times and the LA Times need saving for the sake of the First Amendment and democracy, but for now, they can believe that Thanos snapped me out of existence.

So, for now, Thanos demands my silence. If you want to read a review from me, you’re going to have to swim against the tide and wait a couple of weeks. I will post my review then. It may or may not have spoilers. I don’t know. What I do know is that now is not the time to be publishing stories about the movie that could ruin it for others. And that, true believer, includes information about cameos, Easter eggs, and any of the characters we’ve spent the last 22 movies following. Follow my blog, follow me on Twitter and on Facebook if you want to read my review of Avengers: Endgame later and show the other news media that you will support a review even after the original furor goes by. When it comes up, share it and comment on it. (You can do the same with this article if you feel like I do about spoiling things, except commenting – no commenting, no GIFs, no SPOILERS.)

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