Tag Archives: gen x

Bring out the Facebook Troll or Be Kind

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Almost every session of me scrolling through Facebook ends with some sort of negative experience. Sure, politics are a big part of that, even when comedians are the ones joking about it. (I mean, I guess you can either laugh or cry, maybe both.) However, what really bothers me is the need for people to rip on others for their appearance, and let’s face it, it’s usually men ripping on women. It’s disgusting and sad. Most often, it’s not true. These men are just trying to say something they think is funny and criticizing someone’s appearance is one of the easiest ways to do that.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder if I should harness the child I was in middle school. That kid put everyone down. He made adults cry. As he got older, he learned how to insult people in such a way that he didn’t need profanity. A subtle barb would fester in the room waiting for the wounded person to realize what had just happened, leaving others in stitches. Release that kid on the Internet, and man, Facebook would be responsible for a lot more emotional issues than it has already caused (sometimes on purpose). But that attitude and those words were a part of growing up Gen X. You had to be tough on the street, and if you weren’t big, you better make sure your words were cutting enough to earn the respect of the bullies. Sticks and stones could break your bones, but words would leave you crushed, despite the saying to the contrary.

At some point, my freshman year of college, I decided I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I had just verbally destroyed someone at lunch. Everyone was laughing, but I didn’t feel good about it. I didn’t want to hurt people anymore. It didn’t seem right.

Yet, now it seems that Facebook is full of those type of people – trolls trying to cause anguish to garner views and likes. Someone might even say, “it takes a troll to hunt a troll,” and part of me thinks I could do some good by doing some bad.

But I look at the other Gen Xers that are posting about their childhoods and what they loved about growing up Gen X. They all say pretty much the same things: in before the streetlights come on, forced to be outside during the day, drinking from the garden hose… rarely do they mention the war of words that was a part of childhood then. Sure, they’ll talk about “You’re mama,” but that’s as far as they go. When confronted with a troll, they don’t call on their inner 12 year old and load that troll down with harsh words. Instead, they’re reliving their fondest memories. They’re reliving the best parts of a life that is so far gone, and they’re reliving parts of that life they didn’t get to live when it was happening.

And then there are the people who are trying to make Facebook better: a song, “It’s to be kind,” the aforementioned Gen Xers, the folks at Mr. Rogers, Levar Burton… These are the people that are trying to create a healthier social media ecosystem, and there are hundreds more.

So, let’s try to aspire to their level of kindness, joy and wonder, and not sink to place of trolls. It may not be easy to be kind, it may not garner as many views or comments, but it’s better for you.

Author’s Note: I have not included any links to Facebook because it’s probably better for us to not be on it. However, as long as it’s the easiest platform to use to reach my friends, family and new readers, I’m still going to be posting. Please like, comment, and share. Also, feel free to leave a comment on my blog post, maybe we can build a better social media without the trolls…

The Generational Wars on the Internet

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Some Gen Z nitwit complained about how Gen X was being left out of the generational wars. Another asked why Gen X gets a pass, and then Pinkie Pie (not their real name; choosing their because it seems like the safest pronoun to go with) stated Gen X is the worst generation. By this time, I got my popcorn out because the Gen X I grew up in wouldn’t let this stand. We were sitting around, minding our own business, and these little dweebs call us out – Nuh-uh (Nah, bro – for those who don’t understand Gen X). However, instead of video after video of devastating personal attacks based on everything from personal appearance to speech patterns to lineage, I got a lot of Gen Xers explaining why it was a bad idea to poke the bear.

Don’t Poke the Bear

The reasons were peripherally related to Gen X skills or abilities. Our parents were never around. We rode our bikes everywhere. Our parents locked us outdoors. We drank from the garden hose. We rode Big Wheels. One or two Gen Xers mentioned that when we wanted to insult someone, we did it to their face and our problems were sorted out on the playground where lawyers and cops were never present, even after the altercation. Of course, this started to change in the mid-80s, but even in 1987, we were told that if two kids were fighting and the kid that the teachers liked the best was winning, they wouldn’t be so quick to respond. Still, the one thing that was missing and was essential to our Gen X childhoods was brought up by an early Millennial.

Getting Moded, or Insulting Friends Is Fun

The person that best summed up why leaving Gen X alone was a good idea was laurahigh5, a comedian. “We do not summon the latchkey kids unless it is our literal only last resort because we know we will have to pay a price and that price is our feelings.” In another video, she says she learned so much about Gen X from her siblings and later as a comedian. She and the Gen Z comedians would be roasting each other when a Gen X comedian would show up and send everyone away crying (happy tears because they didn’t want to show they had their feelings hurt). And this is what I remember from my childhood. In my neck of the woods, someone who was destroyed by an insult was “moded.” (The same as “burned.”)

We insulted each other for fun. The person that could deal the best insults ruled the playground. It didn’t matter how big or small you were. If you could hurt someone else’s feelings without using foul language, you were respected. We sharpened our biting wit against one another, and some few of us took that wit and used it against our elders.

Before the older generation starts crying about being disrespected, it’s important to note that we grew up believing respect was earned, not given out like participation ribbons are now. Age didn’t automatically grant you respect because we knew older people were just people, and many of them weren’t worthy of respect.

Where Are the Insults?

The Gen X videos I’ve seen responding to the call for Gen X to rise up are seriously lacking in the insults that would make the other generations cry. Instead, they are filled with warnings, nostalgia, and Gen Xers generally poking fun at themselves and their age. These are musical celebrations full of hair or mentions of hair in the case of John Kotrides, memories, and a little wisdom, or something that is disguised as wisdom by the old-timey voice of DadBod Veteran. Maybe, that’s the way it should be.

Gen X and Your Feelings

It’s possible that there are places where Gen X has resorted to its feral nature and commented so hard that some other Gen Z or later, or Baby Boomer has cried. However, there are several other reasons that Gen X may not be out there raining down the chaos that would come from a few, simply applied insults:

  • Gen X doesn’t have anything to prove anymore. We’ve already taken on the best. We know where we stand.
  • Gen X is out of practice. Insulting people in the workplace has become less acceptable than ever, and we don’t have anyplace else to practice our craft.
  • Gen X is tired. Several videos mention age and the related fatigue that comes with it. They also talk about supporting the boomers, Millennials and Gen Z financially, which is exhausting considering how many jobs Gen X must work to bring in that much money.

Slim Sherri specifically mentions that she doesn’t talk bad about other generations because that’s not her thing. That gives me hope because maybe… just maybe… we learned something out on the playground, or with Mr. Rogers, or someplace else. Maybe, we learned that hurting people’s feelings isn’t the way toward a better world.

Of course, it may be that when we were young and came face-to-face, we were insulting people we knew and loved. We cared about the people that we spent time with and used our words to bring down. We were making each other stronger to withstand what was coming in our adult lives. We knew that at some point we would have to rely on ourselves because life was so fragmentary.

Friends moved. Friends died. Parents were already telling us they wouldn’t be around forever, and they divorced. Companies fired people six months before they became vested in the retirement program; then did away with retirement altogether. We could get at the very heart of what hurt our best friend and help build that scar tissue, rubbing metaphorical dirt on the emotional wounds. We were kids, so we didn’t always get it right. Some of us were traumatized by the relentless teasing, especially when it could be laser-focused. So, when we come together on the Internet, we don’t tap into our dark side to rip someone because to do so would mean that we actually cared about that person. And the biggest tag we try to live up to is that we don’t care – about you, your feelings, or anything else. We just want to be left alone to live a life that best defines who we are as individuals and families not as a generation.