Stranger Danger! 10 Lessons Children Learn to Protect You from Fraud

Stranger Danger! Here are 10 lessons that every child learns that will help protect you from fraud. (This post is my own opinion and is not endorsed by any of my employers, past, present, or future.)

Don’t Answer Unknown Phone Numbers

Children know they shouldn’t open the door to their home for a stranger. Yet, every time you answer the phone for an unknown number, that’s exactly what you are doing. Do not answer unknown phone numbers. If it’s someone you know, they will leave you a message. (Why aren’t they just texting you anyway?)

Hang Up

If for some reason you decide to answer an unknown number and it’s not the call you were expecting, Hang up. Children are taught that if a stranger approaches you, you should run away. On the phone, if a stranger is talking to you, you don’t have to listen. You don’t have to be polite. You don’t have to say anything. Hang up. If it was a real call, the person on the other end won’t be offended because they’ll understand you’re trying to protect yourself from fraud. If it was a fake call, you’ve just saved yourself a whole lot of grief. Those of a certain generation will remember their parents telling them to get off the phone, and we were talking to our friends. It’s even more pertinent now.

Don’t Talk to Strangers

If for some reason, you end up talking to the stranger. Don’t talk to strangers. There’s a whole song about it. Why are you still talking to them? Hang up!

Don’t Go with Strangers

However, there’s a good chance at this point that you’re concerned, worried, anxious, upset, afraid, and possibly angry. Fraudsters are going to push your emotional buttons to keep you on the line, keep you off balance, and keep you from thinking logically. Kids might be coaxed into the van with their desire for treats or to see puppies. Children may also have fear used against them. They know not to go with strangers, but when someone tells them their mom or dad are hurt, they get frightened, and they will believe the stranger.

Don’t go with strangers. Do not let them take you in your van of emotions to the dark web. Hang up, and call a number that you know to be a real number to verify what the fraudster was saying. If it wasn’t a fraudster, you’ll be no worse off. If it was, you’ll be a lot better off.

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear

The fraudster has pressed your buttons and told you they’re only trying to help you. Granted, fraudsters probably wouldn’t say “I’m only trying to help you” verbatim because that phrase is a clear red flag. However, if the person on the other end of the phone is trying to be your friend, they aren’t your friend. Friendships take days, weeks, years to build. The person calling you isn’t even an acquaintance. They aren’t trying to help you. And if they mention how bad fraudsters are, chances are they are revealing what they are guilty of themselves. Why would you believe anything a random stranger on the phone says? Don’t believe everything you hear, especially from sources you don’t know and can’t verify.

Don’t Tell Strangers Where You Live

There’s a lot of information about you on the Internet. It’s a lot more than you realize. Even someone with a small digital footprint will likely have been involved in a security breech where their information was leaked to the dark web. Everything from names and addresses to social security numbers and the name of your beloved pets is probably out there. Even if you’ve never used the Internet, it’s highly likely that your information has been digitized by companies you do business with: utilities, phone companies, city and state governments… In short, any company larger than a mom & pop shop (and many of those, too) uses computers, and all of that information is fair game for hackers. A good fraudster will have information about you to give them validity. If they ask you to verify information, do not do so.

We were told as kids, don’t tell strangers where you live because they might go there to kidnap you and/or steal your stuff. You have a lot more information to worry about, and you don’t need to verify any of it to someone that you did not call. (For example, if someone calls and says they are your grandson, don’t say your grandson’s name, ask them which one. Then, hang up and call that grandson, not from the number they just called, but to the number you know.)

Make Some Friends

Go to your local branch and make some friends. They may just be bank friends, but they will be people that you can go to for help when a fraudster calls. You can hang up on that person and call your local banker to find out what’s going on and who you should talk to.

Don’t Believe Everything You See

You may get a text message from your bank asking about the validity of a purchase. If it is not your purchase and you respond “No,” your bank will NOT call you. You will need to call them. If your bank calls you, it is not your bank. It is a fraudster. Even if the phone number is labeled “Your Bank Name,” it is not your bank. Don’t believe everything you see. Fraudsters know how to mask their phone number. Hang up. Call your bank from the number on the back of your card.

Always Tell the Truth

If someone is coaching you on what to tell the banker when you send a wire or take money from an account, they are defrauding you. The minute someone asks you to lie about what you’re doing with your money, is the same minute, you should hang up (if you haven’t already). When your banker is asking you questions about your withdrawal or wire, they are both genuinely interested and trying to protect you. There should be no reason why you have to lie, at the request of someone you don’t know, to your banker. Always tell the truth.

It’s Not Your Fault

This is all very easy for me to say, but when a fraudster has made you emotional, giving you a time limit, and exposed that they have some information about you, it will be hard to admit that you fell for it. Oftentimes, there will be nothing you can do about it. Children, whose parents get divorced are told it’s not your fault. Getting scammed is the same: It’s not your fault. These lowlifes are professional. They are clever, and they know how to use your emotions to short-circuit your reasoning ability. That’s why it’s best to avoid them.

  1. Don’t answer unknown numbers.
  2. Hang up!
  3. Don’t talk to strangers.
  4. Don’t go with strangers.
  5. Don’t believe everything you hear.
  6. Don’t tell strangers where you live or anything else.
  7. Make some friends.
  8. Don’t believe everything you see
  9. Always tell the truth. Lying only makes it worse.
  10. It’s not your fault.

If you take cash out of your account and deposit into an account you’re not a signer on, you will never get that back. If you wire someone money, you will never get it back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Like the ice cream truck you couldn’t catch up with as a kid.

If the FBI, other law enforcement, or the bank’s fraud department is investigating the bank or a banker, they will not recruit you to perform some undercover operative work. They certainly aren’t going to ask you to withdrawal your money to protect it. You don’t get to play cops and robbers in grown-up life with other grown-ups unless you’re involved with some sort of role-play group.

Can you imagine how law enforcement would have to do that for every person who has a bank account in that bank? Bank accounts aren’t branch specific for fraudsters. And creating a run on any bank would be devastating to the economy. It’d be like the panic set of by Jane and Michael in Mary Poppins.

If someone is pressuring you, if they are giving you a time limit, they are creating stress. Not unlike the stress a curfew created when you were young. You’re an adult. You don’t have to come home before the street lights come on anymore. More importantly, you don’t have to get sucked into someone else’s time constraints. Hang up, and if you’re not convinced it was a fraud call, call the number on the back of your card.

I’ve seen people lose thousands of dollars because they trusted someone on their phone more than they trusted the people they bank with. That’s a sad state of affairs. Simply visiting your local branch once a month will help you understand who you can trust. It will also help you enlist another person willing to protect you and your money. No single person is smart enough to avoid scammers, but a team of people will beat scammers every time, as long as you’re willing to listen to the professionals.

Getting scammed sucks! I don’t want to see anyone else get scammed. You work hard for your money. You shouldn’t have to lose it to a fraudster. If you have any questions, please listen to the small voice trying to be heard over the emotional turmoil. Don’t give information to anyone you haven’t called.

The Romance Scam and Why Banks Are Powerless to Stop It

(The opinions expressed in this post are mine and mine alone. They do not reflect the beliefs of any employer that I may have had in the past, present, or future.) An elderly client with medical conditions came into a bank, looking to send a wire. Her fiancé, a Lt. General in the Army, based in Syria, needed money for food. The wire would be sent to a bank in New Jersey and end up in an account with Coinbase in San Francisco. It would be withdrawn by the Lt. General’s commanding officer, who would deliver it to the Lt. General. This is 100% a scam. But how can you recognize the scam?

Job Warning Flags

Even if this is all the information you have, there are several warning flags. The first one starts with the job. Why would a Lt. General in the Army, who likely brings in $18,000 a month or more, need money sent to him? Especially when the amount is so much smaller than what he makes? Why would this Lt. General need to buy food with those funds? I am decently certain that the Army is aware of the adage that “an army marches on its stomach.” Canned food was invented so Napoleon could conquer Europe. Food is an essential part of any military operation.

Location Warning Flags

This scam involves four far flung locations: the state of the victim, New Jersey, California, and Syria. In many bank transactions, three is already considered too many. By itself, this might not indicate a scam, but it makes it more likely that a scam is taking place when other red flags are involved.

Financial Institution Warning Signs

Coinbase is a cryptocurrency bank. Cryptocurrencies are the currency of choice for fraudsters. It doesn’t mean that the bank or the cryptocurrency are involved in the fraud other than as instruments of conveyance. However, cryptocurrencies are not regulated like government backed currencies, which means there are fewer safeguards in place for those who use cryptocurrencies. Why isn’t this wire going to the Lt. General’s own bank account? There are plenty of banks that work with our military people overseas. Clearly, this Lt. General has access to the Internet, so he can do his banking online. I am certain that the military has a way to get cash to its members without having to route a wire through three states and Coinbase.

Relationship Warning Signs

When asked about the relationship, the client said that they met online had known each other for three years, so this was definitely not a scam. It’s important to note that the scammers involved in this type of scam, known as a romance scam, are patient. They will work for months to years to reel in a victim, to gain their trust, and then to get their money. In fact, there is likely more than one person behind the scam, so even if one scammer leaves the organization, another can be there to take their place. Having never met your fiancé in person should be a warning. People on the web are not what they seem, even when they are being honest. Unfortunately, you can never tell who is being honest and who is putting up a front.

Stereotypical Victim Statistics

Anyone can be a victim of a scam. I fell victim to two scams when I was in my 20s. I would have fallen for two more scams in my late 40s if my wife hadn’t warned me. While the elderly are often targeted, don’t think you’re immune. In fact, Pew Research has said that 73% of Americans have experienced an online scam or attack.

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

With that being the case, if you ever fall victim to a scam, it’s not your fault. Let me repeat that: IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. You should understand that scammers are good at their jobs. Even Andy Cohen fell for a scam. Scammers rig the system to put you in a bad position and then they offer you an easy solution. They know how to push your buttons, and they will push them. They prey on the elderly, the lonely, and the uninformed. They use our greatest weaknesses against us. Worse, they use our greatest strengths – our innate belief in the good in people, our ability to trust others, and our hopes for better lives. Scammers are clearly scum and worse. Still, it’s better to avoid a scam then to fall victim to one.

Signs of a Scam

  • Sense of urgency.
  • They’re in a rush.
  • There’s a time limit.
  • They give instructions for you to use when you go to the bank.
  • They tell you to mislead or lie to your bankers.
  • They called you.

For the romance scam, which is mentioned above, the signs will also include, someone asking for money. If you’ve never met the person in real life, you’re involved in a scam, and it doesn’t matter how or when the relationship started.

Of course, the scammer doesn’t have to be a Lt. General in Syria. They could be a waiter in Paris looking to open a café, or Nigerian Prince looking to fly to safety, or a penguin keeper in Antarctica, who needs medicine for sick penguins. The scammer is going to be the person they need to be to get money from you. Even before AI, you couldn’t trust anything on the Internet. It’s 100 times worse now.

And remember, if the offer seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Why Don’t Banks Do Something?

There was a story about an 89-year-old Canadian who lost his life savings – $1.7 million in a scam that lasted six months. His family blamed the banks. They said the banks didn’t do enough to prevent the scam. It’s a mistake to say banks don’t do anything. Banks will inform the person that it appears they are being scammed. They will point out the discrepancies, the fallacies, the illogical parts of the scammers’ story. They will say that this is a known scam. But giving information is as far as banks can go.

Banks cannot tell people what to do with their money. Even if the bank is 100% sure that the person sending a wire is being scammed, the bank may still have to send the wire.

Someone comes into the bank to withdraw $2000. They have been watching the Three-Card Monte dealer all morning, and they picked the queen every time when others were playing the game. They were going to bet $2000 and win $6000. Should the bank deny the withdrawal? What if the $2000 was going to be used at the Casino on Native American land?

Should the bank decide to not allow withdrawals that would be used for cigarettes, porn, or alcohol or any other “sin” industry? While this is the slippery slope argument, consider your own situation.

How angry do you get when your card gets shut off when you’re trying to charge something? It’s a huge inconvenience, and generally, it irritates people that they have to call a 1-800 number to tell the bank that the purchase is real. Now, imagine the bank telling you that you can’t use your money because the bank believes you’re the victim of a scam. Remember, none of those red flags are actual evidence. The world is filled with possibilities and improbabilities. No one can prove that the Lt. General is actual a scamming group that’s been setting the bank client up for three years.

How to Avoid Being Scammed

There are some things you can do to avoid being scammed. If you get a check in the mail from someone or some company and you are not expecting the check, it could be a scam. (Unfortunately, a Safeway settlement that had people getting $200 without really knowing the reason why looked like a scam because people weren’t expecting the money.)

If someone calls you from an organization, hang up and call them back on a number you know not one you were given. The number on the back of your debit card or credit card is always a good place to start.

Recognize when your beliefs are clouding your judgement. You don’t deserve a better deal. God isn’t answering your prayers. Strangers aren’t always nice. Believing that everyone is evil is tiresome and unhealthy, still you need a healthy level of skepticism, especially if there’s a gift horse involved.

Look out for time sensitive offers. This is an old sales trick: I have five people looking at the house, so you’ll want to get your offer down as soon as possible. If you don’t pay $8000 within the next 48 hours, we’ll cut off your services. Scammers will tell you that there is a limited amount of time for you to make something right. If you don’t make the time limit, you’ll face dire consequences.

Do your research. Research the person’s name, what they look like, where they live, research who they work for. Call that organization whenever possible, using a phone number that wasn’t given to you by the person.

Don’t send money to someone you’ve never met in person.

The hardest part about falling for a scam is that it will take some of your trust away. A romance scam is especially dirty as it preys on our need for love, acceptance, and the joy that comes with knowing another person cares deeply about you. It’s not just the knowing that’s important. It’s the believing and when faith in love is taken advantage of, people lose their ability to trust and their will to live.

Scam Job on Indeed Comes Back

When I published the scam about the proofreading job, I thought that would be the end of it. I had blocked all communications I had received. I was wrong. The scam job on Indeed came back again.

Kristen sent the text message, just like she sent the last one. This time, however, she told me to contact Robert Eldred at Omegahm. I decided that I would look up the information for fun. The first Robert Eldred I found was a CFP, but the name appears to be fairly common. This time the email was missing an “s” omagehms is a legitimate website.

In the end, I texted back telling them to stop scamming people. I’m sure that text won’t change anything. Now, I have to remember how to block a number on my phone again.

This illustrates why scammers win. There’s a good chance that these text messages are automated. They send them out to hundreds of thousands of people. They only need a couple of people to fall for the scam and they can make thousands of dollars. They can steal money and identities, and the identities are probably worth more.

I am fortunate; I worked in educating people how to avoid scams. I didn’t fall for the first one, and I didn’t fall for the second one. That’s the problem, though. Scams aren’t about people for scammers. They are about numbers. At some point, I fully expect I will fall for a scam despite my suspicious nature and relative expertise.

Scammers know how to emotionally manipulate people. Once they have you running scared, your logic will turn off, and you’ll be ripe for the pickings. You will feel bad afterwards. You shouldn’t. They found the right buttons to push on a day when you weren’t at your best. It happens. It sucks. But IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

If you see a scam, even if you fall for it, you need to shout it out from your social media platform. Help others avoid the scam. Make the scammers come up with something new. None of us can be the Beekeeper (affiliate link), but we can all do our best to smoke these reprehensible scum out and cut off their revenue. The scam job at Indeed will come back. Stay vigilant.

If it’s too good to be true… How I Almost Got Scammed

I was almost scammed today. Last week, I made inquires about available housing on the coast. After finding out that I wasn’t eligible for a loan because I’m an entrepreneur and the rules changed two years ago to make it more difficult for entrepreneurs to get home loans, I started looking at rental properties. I sent out multiple emails and made several calls. Rental agencies didn’t get back to me. The one that I was able to get on the phone said he had a one-year waitlist for one-bedroom apartments and a three-year waitlist for three bedrooms. I contacted more places and received the same sound of silence.

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