The Romance Scam and Why Banks Are Powerless to Stop It

Posted on March 1, 2026 by shadengk

(The opinions expressed in this post are mine and mine alone. They do not reflect the beliefs of any employer that I may have had in the past, present, or future.) An elderly client with medical conditions came into a bank, looking to send a wire. Her fiancé, a Lt. General in the Army, based in Syria, needed money for food. The wire would be sent to a bank in New Jersey and end up in an account with Coinbase in San Francisco. It would be withdrawn by the Lt. General’s commanding officer, who would deliver it to the Lt. General. This is 100% a scam. But how can you recognize the scam?

Job Warning Flags

Even if this is all the information you have, there are several warning flags. The first one starts with the job. Why would a Lt. General in the Army, who likely brings in $18,000 a month or more, need money sent to him? Especially when the amount is so much smaller than what he makes? Why would this Lt. General need to buy food with those funds? I am decently certain that the Army is aware of the adage that “an army marches on its stomach.” Canned food was invented so Napoleon could conquer Europe. Food is an essential part of any military operation.

Location Warning Flags

This scam involves four far flung locations: the state of the victim, New Jersey, California, and Syria. In many bank transactions, three is already considered too many. By itself, this might not indicate a scam, but it makes it more likely that a scam is taking place when other red flags are involved.

Financial Institution Warning Signs

Coinbase is a cryptocurrency bank. Cryptocurrencies are the currency of choice for fraudsters. It doesn’t mean that the bank or the cryptocurrency are involved in the fraud other than as instruments of conveyance. However, cryptocurrencies are not regulated like government backed currencies, which means there are fewer safeguards in place for those who use cryptocurrencies. Why isn’t this wire going to the Lt. General’s own bank account? There are plenty of banks that work with our military people overseas. Clearly, this Lt. General has access to the Internet, so he can do his banking online. I am certain that the military has a way to get cash to its members without having to route a wire through three states and Coinbase.

Relationship Warning Signs

When asked about the relationship, the client said that they met online had known each other for three years, so this was definitely not a scam. It’s important to note that the scammers involved in this type of scam, known as a romance scam, are patient. They will work for months to years to reel in a victim, to gain their trust, and then to get their money. In fact, there is likely more than one person behind the scam, so even if one scammer leaves the organization, another can be there to take their place. Having never met your fiancé in person should be a warning. People on the web are not what they seem, even when they are being honest. Unfortunately, you can never tell who is being honest and who is putting up a front.

Stereotypical Victim Statistics

Anyone can be a victim of a scam. I fell victim to two scams when I was in my 20s. I would have fallen for two more scams in my late 40s if my wife hadn’t warned me. While the elderly are often targeted, don’t think you’re immune. In fact, Pew Research has said that 73% of Americans have experienced an online scam or attack.

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

With that being the case, if you ever fall victim to a scam, it’s not your fault. Let me repeat that: IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. You should understand that scammers are good at their jobs. Even Andy Cohen fell for a scam. Scammers rig the system to put you in a bad position and then they offer you an easy solution. They know how to push your buttons, and they will push them. They prey on the elderly, the lonely, and the uninformed. They use our greatest weaknesses against us. Worse, they use our greatest strengths – our innate belief in the good in people, our ability to trust others, and our hopes for better lives. Scammers are clearly scum and worse. Still, it’s better to avoid a scam then to fall victim to one.

Signs of a Scam

Sense of urgency.
They’re in a rush.
There’s a time limit.
They give instructions for you to use when you go to the bank.
They tell you to mislead or lie to your bankers.
They called you.

For the romance scam, which is mentioned above, the signs will also include, someone asking for money. If you’ve never met the person in real life, you’re involved in a scam, and it doesn’t matter how or when the relationship started.

Of course, the scammer doesn’t have to be a Lt. General in Syria. They could be a waiter in Paris looking to open a café, or Nigerian Prince looking to fly to safety, or a penguin keeper in Antarctica, who needs medicine for sick penguins. The scammer is going to be the person they need to be to get money from you. Even before AI, you couldn’t trust anything on the Internet. It’s 100 times worse now.

And remember, if the offer seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Why Don’t Banks Do Something?

There was a story about an 89-year-old Canadian who lost his life savings – $1.7 million in a scam that lasted six months. His family blamed the banks. They said the banks didn’t do enough to prevent the scam. It’s a mistake to say banks don’t do anything. Banks will inform the person that it appears they are being scammed. They will point out the discrepancies, the fallacies, the illogical parts of the scammers’ story. They will say that this is a known scam. But giving information is as far as banks can go.

Banks cannot tell people what to do with their money. Even if the bank is 100% sure that the person sending a wire is being scammed, the bank may still have to send the wire.

Someone comes into the bank to withdraw $2000. They have been watching the Three-Card Monte dealer all morning, and they picked the queen every time when others were playing the game. They were going to bet $2000 and win $6000. Should the bank deny the withdrawal? What if the $2000 was going to be used at the Casino on Native American land?

Should the bank decide to not allow withdrawals that would be used for cigarettes, porn, or alcohol or any other “sin” industry? While this is the slippery slope argument, consider your own situation.

How angry do you get when your card gets shut off when you’re trying to charge something? It’s a huge inconvenience, and generally, it irritates people that they have to call a 1-800 number to tell the bank that the purchase is real. Now, imagine the bank telling you that you can’t use your money because the bank believes you’re the victim of a scam. Remember, none of those red flags are actual evidence. The world is filled with possibilities and improbabilities. No one can prove that the Lt. General is actual a scamming group that’s been setting the bank client up for three years.

How to Avoid Being Scammed

There are some things you can do to avoid being scammed. If you get a check in the mail from someone or some company and you are not expecting the check, it could be a scam. (Unfortunately, a Safeway settlement that had people getting $200 without really knowing the reason why looked like a scam because people weren’t expecting the money.)

If someone calls you from an organization, hang up and call them back on a number you know not one you were given. The number on the back of your debit card or credit card is always a good place to start.

Recognize when your beliefs are clouding your judgement. You don’t deserve a better deal. God isn’t answering your prayers. Strangers aren’t always nice. Believing that everyone is evil is tiresome and unhealthy, still you need a healthy level of skepticism, especially if there’s a gift horse involved.

Look out for time sensitive offers. This is an old sales trick: I have five people looking at the house, so you’ll want to get your offer down as soon as possible. If you don’t pay $8000 within the next 48 hours, we’ll cut off your services. Scammers will tell you that there is a limited amount of time for you to make something right. If you don’t make the time limit, you’ll face dire consequences.

Do your research. Research the person’s name, what they look like, where they live, research who they work for. Call that organization whenever possible, using a phone number that wasn’t given to you by the person.

Don’t send money to someone you’ve never met in person.

The hardest part about falling for a scam is that it will take some of your trust away. A romance scam is especially dirty as it preys on our need for love, acceptance, and the joy that comes with knowing another person cares deeply about you. It’s not just the knowing that’s important. It’s the believing and when faith in love is taken advantage of, people lose their ability to trust and their will to live.

Scam Job on Indeed Comes Back

Posted on May 21, 2025 by shadengk

When I published the scam about the proofreading job, I thought that would be the end of it. I had blocked all communications I had received. I was wrong. The scam job on Indeed came back again.

Kristen sent the text message, just like she sent the last one. This time, however, she told me to contact Robert Eldred at Omegahm. I decided that I would look up the information for fun. The first Robert Eldred I found was a CFP, but the name appears to be fairly common. This time the email was missing an “s” omagehms is a legitimate website.

In the end, I texted back telling them to stop scamming people. I’m sure that text won’t change anything. Now, I have to remember how to block a number on my phone again.

This illustrates why scammers win. There’s a good chance that these text messages are automated. They send them out to hundreds of thousands of people. They only need a couple of people to fall for the scam and they can make thousands of dollars. They can steal money and identities, and the identities are probably worth more.

I am fortunate; I worked in educating people how to avoid scams. I didn’t fall for the first one, and I didn’t fall for the second one. That’s the problem, though. Scams aren’t about people for scammers. They are about numbers. At some point, I fully expect I will fall for a scam despite my suspicious nature and relative expertise.

Scammers know how to emotionally manipulate people. Once they have you running scared, your logic will turn off, and you’ll be ripe for the pickings. You will feel bad afterwards. You shouldn’t. They found the right buttons to push on a day when you weren’t at your best. It happens. It sucks. But IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

If you see a scam, even if you fall for it, you need to shout it out from your social media platform. Help others avoid the scam. Make the scammers come up with something new. None of us can be the Beekeeper (affiliate link), but we can all do our best to smoke these reprehensible scum out and cut off their revenue. The scam job at Indeed will come back. Stay vigilant.

Job Scam at Indeed

Posted on May 10, 2025 by shadengk

When I saw the job ad for a Proofreader/Copy editor for “Landscape Services,” I applied. I proofread and copy edit books, and I’ve got a ton of experience in SEO writing for landscaping companies. It would be a great fit. More importantly, the job was listed at $41.33 an hour, was remote, and could be part- or full-time. I also at that point in my savings where if I don’t find some work beyond what I have in the next six weeks, I’m going to be begging on a street corner. I’m feeling the pressure, especially because I’ve only had three interviews for two jobs.

The application took about 90 minutes.

Then I got a text from Kristen. I don’t know Kristen, but it’s about a PROOFREADER job. “Please confirm your interest and email with peter@ehrinpractices.com.” Because I have a dumb phone, I go to my laptop and type in the web address first. Nothing comes up. I don’t think anything of it. I’ve been having problems with my computer, and I figure that it must be that or maybe it’s the browser. Who knows? So, I go to InboxDollars and use their search engine: ehrinpractices.com.

The phrase is so generic that nothing tangible comes up. So, I highlight my search and go to Google. (Yes, I know, but Google is still the best search engine available.) Google shows me ehrinpractice.com. Not “practices?” I need a job, and this one seems like a great fit that would allow me the opportunity to be anywhere I want to be. Maybe, it’s how their email is set up, I rationalize. I look at the website. They produce software and guides, so they could likely use a copy editor. I go to my gmail account and email Peter.

Peter Fasolo gets back to me about 3:30pm and says can we do an interview tonight or tomorrow at 10am? Otherwise, I have availability all next week, Monday to Saturday from 10 to 6pm EST. Here’s the Teams link. Please checkout the job description and the company culture before we talk.

The pdf pulls up in my browser. I click on the link to the teams meeting and get Peter’s name. I send him a message that 10am EST would be fine tomorrow (Saturday). I shouldn’t have done either of those things. I could’ve ended up with a virus or ransomware or worse. At the time, I still didn’t think I was getting scammed. The company seemed legit. I had applied for a proofreader job with about the same pay rate: $45 in the job description. Why did I start feeling queasy?

I’ve had and I’ve given a lot of fraud and scam training. It’s easy to spot fraud when it’s not your emotions and your personal situation. A lady once told me that someone she never met offered her $50,000 for every script she wrote. The woman was in her 80s and had never written a script in her life. She was adamant that the job was not fake and she just needed to cash the check to get the equipment. I’m a writer; there’s no way anyone would offer her that kind of deal. She didn’t want to hear it because she needed the money, it made her feel like she was doing something to help herself, and it gave her a sense of identity and belonging.

That didn’t click in my brain until much later. I just felt like something was off. I told Jenya I thought I was getting scammed, and I asked her to look at it. We spent 40 minutes researching the job, the company, Peter Fasolo. These are the discrepancies we found:

Why was the original job posting listed as “Landscape Services” and the email from and EHR company?

Why was the offer for more than $40? Don’t get me wrong, a good editor can do wonders for your site, and I am completely worth that kind of money, but it seemed a little excessive, especially when they bumped it up to $45. My thought process said they wanted to keep the people they hired, and the company was in the UK.

Why was the website “ehrinpractice.com,” but the email was “ehrinpractices.com?”

Why didn’t Peter have his picture in teams?

Why weren’t there any people listed on the website?

Peter Fasolo was an HR person for Johnson and Johnson until 2024; Kristen (Mullholland) replaced him.

Why were they scheduling an interview on a Saturday for a job that’s Monday to Friday?

The text came from an 833 number, which have a high propensity for use in scams.

Any one of these on its own isn’t necessarily fraud. Add them up, however, and the probability is distinctly higher. Jenya and I decided that this was a scam. I blocked Peter on teams. I blocked the phone number. I reported the job listing to Indeed. I blocked the email account.

There’s still that doubt in the back of my mind. I spent three hours on dealing with this “job.” It could be real. It was definitely what I was looking for. What if I’m paranoid? What if I’m wrong, and I just gave up the opportunity of a lifetime? I won’t likely ever know.

And I still need a job. With every passing day, that pressure grows, and I become more susceptible to taking a job that isn’t legitimate.

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Paid too Much Scam: How We almost Got Scammed, Again

Posted on January 29, 2021 by shadengk

Both my wife and I work from home as self-employed freelancers. Currently, our only income comes from jobs we can hobble together to pay rent and whatever we can earn from our penguins, books, and Patreon. So, when a job comes along that will pay the rent for a month, we take notice. One good job makes the month easier and relieves a lot of stress. For better or worse, this leaves us open to the possibility of being scammed.

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If it’s too good to be true… How I Almost Got Scammed

Posted on September 6, 2020 by shadengk

I was almost scammed today. Last week, I made inquires about available housing on the coast. After finding out that I wasn’t eligible for a loan because I’m an entrepreneur and the rules changed two years ago to make it more difficult for entrepreneurs to get home loans, I started looking at rental properties. I sent out multiple emails and made several calls. Rental agencies didn’t get back to me. The one that I was able to get on the phone said he had a one-year waitlist for one-bedroom apartments and a three-year waitlist for three bedrooms. I contacted more places and received the same sound of silence.